As I was praying this morning, I remembered a situation that God brought me out of and how it allowed me to see how desperate someone can become to do the wrong thing…I hope this will provide encouragement to someone that there is always a better choice!
In the beginning of 2011, I had found out that I was pregnant with my second child and my only son. The timing could not have been worse! I was getting ready to finish my first degree, making more than enough money, and involved in many activities that brought great fulfillment to my life. And I had just lost weight, vain, but oh well lol. Not to mention my relationship with the child’s father was getting worse and worse.
The enemy will influence you to make decisions that you would have never made before because when you are desperate to hold on to “things” you will find yourself doing anything in order to keep them.
In March 2011 I had made a decision to set up an appointment. The appointment to end things, an appointment that would forever change the course of my life. The father of our unborn child, wanted an abortion and so did I. He said he would pay for it, but he was having a hard time coming up with the funds and oddly enough with 3 incomes at the time I didn’t have the funds either. Even though during that period in my life I clearly remember always having money saved or available…except for the time I felt I needed it most.
Well when the enemy wants something done he will find every way to make sure it happens.
I called my banks number to find out the balance in my checking account, knowing that much wasn’t in there. The automatic voice came on and it said you have a balance of such and such. The balance was exactly enough money I needed in order to proceed with the abortion. But I knew this was impossible, I knew that there was no way that money was coming in from anywhere. I punched in the number that allowed me to listen to recent deposits. I had gotten paid from my job twice! I started to ask myself questions: Did I work overtime? Did they not pay me everything from the last pay period?
I don’t even know why I bothered because I knew the answers to these questions were no. I have now been saved for 6 years, I knew who God was, and I knew that he had a hope and plans for my future. But when you are desperate, so desperately wanting your will and not God’s will for your life….what will you do? So in my panic, anxiety-filled, foggy and blinded mind I felt that this was the answer. Of course I’m supposed to have an abortion…why else would the extra money be there?
Fortunately, at the time I had a great pastor in my life and he asked if I would speak with his soon to be wife before I went forth with my decision. She talked and talked and nothing was swaying my decision until she said, “But Lia you have the knowledge, you have done this before and made it, what would really be different now?”
My son is one of the many joys of my life! He is very smart, a goofball, and always makes me laugh. He tells me I’m beautiful all the time and he inspires me every day to be a more patient and loving person. I’ve gone on to finish another degree, play in musicals and churches, met wonderful friends and mentors, and recently worked at the Pentagon. I still did everything God had for me and He surpassed my expectations!
The enemy wants to steal, kill and destroy you! Whatever it takes he will bring you down even when you think you are going up! The money, cars, houses, materialistic things are nice to have, but you can’t take them with you! When you leave this earth your character and integrity is what will be left not any of those things! On your deathbed you won’t think of the diplomas, awards, and achievements, you will want the people that mean most to you by your side rooting you on to your transition to heaven! Be content with and without!
Chasing all those things( and people!) meant more to me than having my son and I would’ve been destroyed if I went through with the enemy’s plans! There’s no way I would have ever gotten over it! Although, this was a more drastic and severe situation, do know the enemy can use anything to destroy you (drinking, sex, drugs, nasty attitudes, food(over-eating)) no matter how minor you may think it is. In an unstable and desperate mind even the most crazy thing will seem sane to you!
Who are you listening too? What means more to you? The kingdom of heaven or this temporary life on earth? Seek God and the rest will be added unto you! It is my hope that someone will understand life will go on despite your circumstances, but while you’re going through will you choose to listen to God or the enemy?