John 9:1-3 ERV
“While Jesus was walking, he saw a man who had been blind since the time he was born. Jesus’ followers asked him, “Teacher, why was this man born blind? Whose sin made it happen? Was it his own sin or that of his parents?” Jesus answered, “It was not any sin of this man or his parents that caused him to be blind. He was born blind so that he could be used to show what great things God can do.”
On this morning I realized since I’ve been on my own as an adult (10 plus years) I’ve never had my lights cut off. There are many that don’t have that same testimony. What has God kept you from going through?
Hebrews 3:12-19 ERV
“So, brothers and sisters, be careful that none of you has the evil thoughts that cause so much doubt that you stop following the living God. But encourage each other every day, while you still have something called “today.” Help each other so that none of you will be fooled by sin and become too hard to change. We have the honor of sharing in all that Christ has if we continue until the end to have the sure faith we had in the beginning. That’s why the Spirit said, “If you hear God’s voice today, don’t be stubborn as in the past when you turned against God.”Psalm 95:7-8 Who were those who heard God’s voice and turned against him? It was all the people Moses led out of Egypt. And who was God angry with for 40 years? He was angry with those who sinned. And their dead bodies were left in the desert. And which people was God talking to when he promised that they would never enter his place of rest? He was talking to those who did not obey him. So we see that they were not allowed to enter and have God’s rest, because they did not believe.”
I am currently facilitating a group at my church and at our recent event I didn’t have enough money to put gas in my car or pay for my meal that evening. I was picking up one of our group members and even though I was fairly sure that I had enough gas money for the trip, I used my credit card because I didn’t want to chance it.
When we arrived to the restaurant I ended up not liking the food. Not because I didn’t have any money, I could’ve used my credit card, but because actually really didn’t like the food lol. So I ended up not having a bill. I thought well look at God I didn’t have to be concerned about this anyway. The next day after church I realized the person I picked up for the meeting left some money in my car.
I texted her and told her I found her money and would bring it to her at church. She responded “You can keep it I was going to treat you at dinner the other night, but you didn’t have a bill lol” As I reflect I really should have trusted God, put the money I had in my gas tank, and without my knowledge my meal was going to be taken care of.
Have faith that God will always provide for you! He will answer your needs in ways you never thought of!
Matthew 9:27-31 MSG
“As Jesus left the house, he was followed by two blind men crying out, “Mercy, Son of David! Mercy on us!” When Jesus got home, the blind men went in with him. Jesus said to them, “Do you really believe I can do this?” They said, “Why, yes, Master!” He touched their eyes and said, “Become what you believe.” It happened. They saw.
Matthew 25:29 ERV
“Everyone who uses what they have will get more. They will have much more than they need. But people who do not use what they have will have everything taken away from them.’”
I declare and decree that before the year is out our student loans will be paid in full and/or cancelled in the name of Jesus. We stepped out in faith believing the vision that was set in our heart to pursue. Kingdom assignments will not be hindered by debt as we know the God we serve is bigger than that! He will allow us to walk in our purpose freely without worry of the things of the past! We receive this word now in the name of Jesus!
212 days. The length of time that I decided to stop drinking. I’ve learned a whole lot about myself now that I am of sober mind. What started off as a way to cope with a terrible break up turned into a very long nightmare. 2 years of drinking almost every single day. I felt like I couldn’t function.
I didn’t want to face the realization that my life was becoming exactly what I did not want it to be. I would avoid things that would cause me anxiety or paranoia by drinking . Whether that be a deadline for school or simply running an errand. I had gotten to a point where the only way I could function was by taking a few shots of whatever to keep my mind off of the task at hand. Somehow in my mind I thought I could d overcompensate by getting the next goal accomplished. Another degree, another award, another skill, another talent. I thought that the more my life glittered the more people would be distracted by the fact that it did not shine. At some points my life was no more than a flickering candle in the wind at any moment getting ready to burn out. My drinking had got to a couple pints of whatever a day to keep up with my increasing tolerance of alcohol. It took a few months of being on a roller coaster of drama in what I thought was my dream situation for me to understand I really could not do this thing called life on my own.
No matter how many friendships, relationships, jobs, money, talents, hobbies I added to the equation…I was not happy. And nothing could fix that. Well one thing, but I knew that If I went that direction that I would have no choice but to trust in someone other than myself. That I would have to relinquish control and no longer run the drama filled, fruitless life that I had now cultivated. Late one night after being very ill and questioning if I had gone too far I cried out and said “God if you will help me I’ll surrender and come back to you!” I didn’t hear anything. Didn’t feel any different. But I knew at that point…what else was I to do? If I’m going to die well let me go out at least trying to make it work.
Fortunately, I did wake up the next day and although I still felt terrible it wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been. I threw out all the alcohol. Got rid of all my shot and wine glasses. I drank a few days later realized that it wasn’t worth it and threw that out too. I remember sitting at my desk and asking God ” What do I do now?” I found the Driven Purpose Life by Rick Warren on my bookshelf and began reading the daily assigned chapter. 40 days later I finished the book and began reading devotionals from the bible. The more time I spent in God’s presence the more I realized just how off course in my life I had gotten. And as much as I wanted to sink into depression and beat myself up about it. God continued to encourage me everything I had done would one day work together for my good.
I do think from time to time what it would be like to have a drink and the crazy life I use to live. I can’t lie and say some part of me doesn’t miss the “adventure” and by adventure I mean drama and delusion. I’m not alarmed I did make it apart of my reality for 2 years. But than I think about how 7 months later for the first time in my life I know what’s it like to have peace. A peace that really does surpass my understanding. Things that use to move or upset me no longer do. I’ve lost almost 30 pounds. I no longer avoid things that cause me anxiety. I embrace them head on. I read my bible and pray everyday because I want too, not out of duty. I no longer depend on people and things to make me happy. I, just the way I am. make myself happy. Only God can help make me whole. No one or nothing will ever accomplish that. All I can do now is hope that someone else understands there is always another option. I would choose God.