Recently, I was really having second thoughts about becoming an architect. The stress and the amount of work was starting to become overwhelming. In one of my classes in particular I was having an extremely hard time desiging the project. I knew what was expected of me but between fear and procrastination I just could not push past it. I presented about a week before the project was due and my professors completely went in on me. I knew it wasn’t my best and yet I was trying to present it as it was.
I felt discouraged and really began to think how have I came this far and yet I still wanted to quit. I felt offended from the critique, but it was correct no matter how harsh it was and the semester was quickly coming to an end. I had to complete the project. So I had to find some faith and believe that this was the path for me.
For this class I had to travel to Illinois to present my final project. On the day I was leaving everything was going wrong. I barely had any sleep, I was unsure of my completed project, there were delays in everything, there were issues back home I couldn’t deal with, dealing with the snow (more so southern people who didn’t know how to deal with snow), and the list goes on. However what really made this day almost laughable because it was so bad…I get to Illinois to only find out that due to the bad weather, if I didn’t want to make the trip I didn’t have too. *sighhhhh*
Oh well,I thought, I’m here now might as well get it over with.
I walk into the room where we are holding presentations and almost immediately I feel discouraged. My presentation didn’t look like anyone elses. Not that it’s suppose to, but since I was already fearing another harsh critque and with all the troubles from my day of travel I seriously thought what I doing here. After hearing one presentation, I exited the room as I was feeling more and more unhappy about why I was even going through with this.
As I was walking around trying to get my thoughts together I went onto facebook and immediately saw this post by Joel Osteen.
“When you’re comfortable with who you are, not trying to impress people, not trying to be something that you’re not, then your uniqueness will come out. You’ll be more creative, you’ll see new doors open, the right people will show up, talent will come out in greater ways. You’ll step in to the anointing on your life. Be you. You’re powerful when you’re you. Here’s the key, nobody can beat you at being you.”
It somewhat quieted my fears and I believed I was being encouraged by God to keep going.
The thing is I know what type of designer I am. I like things that are simple and elegant. Things that are profound, but not complicated. I’ve always known that about me, but because I started playing the comparison game (which you should never do) I felt because my work didn’t look like everyone else’s my work wasn’t good enough. What happened next took me by suprise, but absolutedly confirmed not only am I suppose to be an architect, but I must be myself and be completely okay with that.
When I presented the professors loved it! They completely understood my project and applauded my efforts immensely. They actually really liked that my presentation was completely different! Although, I was pleased I took a moment to be transparent. I felt it was important to get across that if it wasn’t for my project being a mess a week ago and me being harshly critiqued I wouldn’t have taken a step back and tried again. I had great dialogue with them and learned some valuable things.
It was total hell getting to Illinois to have that presentation. That morning before I presented I remember lying in bed and asking God why did you have me go through all this? I now completely understand because I needed to hear the encouragement and confirmation. I needed to know I was on the right path and I needed it to happen in person so I could have the complete experience.
Trust the process! Many days you will want to quit. You will start to believe that you aren’t doing the right thing because it looks nothing like it’s suppose to! Sometimes life will deal with you harshly so it can motivate you to go higher! You have to believe that no matter how uncomfortable, discouraged or fearful you may be, God is bigger than it all! He is working things out for you right now! Just keep going!
God is faithful!
Project: Religious Building
Tree of Life Community Church
7 “Everyone who hears this should listen to what the Spirit says to the churches. To those who win the victory I will give the right to eat the fruit from the tree of life, which is in God’s paradise.